"Christians are Oppressed!" screams man as he pays with currency reading "In God We Trust"

Pink-haired barista annoyed but not surprised.

Welcome to Jesus Unfollower, where we laugh at religious absurdity.

SOUTH CAROLINA—Dwight Privlige, local incel, was seen berating a Starbucks barista on Sunday afternoon.

Upon noticing pink hair and an eyebrow ring, Privlige decided to place his order under the name “We are Charlie Kirk.”

When the barista refused to use verbalize the seething guests’s pseudonym, Privlige loudly proclaimed that he’s sick of Christians being attacked in the United States.

He then paid in cash with “In God We Trust” printed on the back, jumped into his Jesus-stickered, lifted truck that will never experience a woman’s presence, and headed straight to one of 721 churches within a half-mile radius.

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Remember: You don’t need a god to be good.

Kevin