We Called a Christian Billboard
(83) FOR-TRUTH
What’s up nonbelievers, doubters, and skeptics?
There have been a LOT of changes in my life lately, but the biggest one is that I flew to California to scoop up my girlfriend and her daughter (and husky and cat) and bring them to Tennessee to live with me!
Huge changes for all of us.
My Monday consisted of:
Waking up at 4:45am to drive my dog to my parent’s house and then to Atlanta for my flight.
Fly 4+ hours to California.
Pick up the rental van.
Load up the rental van.
And then we started driving that night! That’s a long-ass day.
But she was ready to get the hell out of California, and I wasn’t going to make her stay there another minute.
That road trip was quite the experience. I got to visit 5 states that I’d never been to before: Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, and Arkansas.
We decided to make this trip on one of the hottest weeks on record in quite a while. Temps in the southwest were well over 100 degrees the whole way. We stopped for gas in Arizona at midnight, and I couldn’t believe how hot the gusts of wind were. Holy shit.
The drive through New Mexico was beautiful. It was amazing to see that landscape…nothing like it is here in the Bible Belt.
We stopped for the night in Albuquerque, so you know we had to pay Walter White’s house a visit the next morning. I wanted to go to Los Pollos Hermanos, but I figured we just needed to hit the road and keep going for home.
Somewhere around Amarillo, TX we saw one of those Christian Billboards that have a number you can call.
You’ve probably seen at least one of them.
The one we saw had a picture of the Bible on it with a question “Wrong or Right? You Decide!” with the phone number (83) FOR-TRUTH.
You know how I know my girlfriend, Kat, is perfect for me? She said “Let’s call it!” It was her idea to pretend to be someone who was living a happy life but kept being told by her parents that the only way she would find true joy was through Jesus Christ.
We called… Brenton answered.
He was a 69 (nice) year old man who was very pleasant…at first.
Kat used a southern accent to tell her story. “I have a good life with my husband and daughter, but my family keeps telling me that I need Jesus.”
Brenton said that her family is right; the only way that we can spend eternity with god is to give our lives to Jesus.
Kat asked him what evidence there is for god outside of the Bible, and then he asked a weird question.
He said “Well, let me ask you this… do you believe in evolution? Because it’s just a theory.”
I had to hop in… well, my alias Michael did. I tried to get the point across that scientific theories and just your average use of the word theory are totally different, but he just kept blabbing.
We kept questioning him on why we should believe certain things, and he started to get agitated… but he was still nice enough.
He would say things like “the very fact that you called this number shows that you’re searching for the truth, and now that you’re being told the truth, you’ll be accountable on judgment day.”
We pondered on what his day-to-day looks like.
(83) FOR-TRUTH has thousands of billboards throughout the United States, so do they have full-time staff? Is it on a volunteer basis?
Does Brenton pack a lunch and go to an office to answer Christ calls?
Does he have a 2nd cell phone that his wife doesn’t know about?
Does she think he’s cheating but it’s really just him telling people they’re going to hell?
So many questions.
Then, Kat asked a question about consent and sexual assault, and Brenton said…
“Well, they shouldn’t put themselves in that position.”
WHAT?!
We were both floored. We were pulling into the gas station and hit Brenton with a quick, no-longer-in-character “I don’t give a fuck what the Bible says.” and hung up on his bitch-ass.
People ask me what’s so dangerous about Christianity all the time.
Well, when they have thousands of billboards across America with people on the other end who victim-blame, there’s your answer.
Thanks for reading!
Let logic and reason guide the way!
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We have them all over Alabama. I hate it.