Someone tried to convert me to Jesus...

In my own home!

What’s up, nonbelievers, doubters, and skeptics?

My apartment complex has been saying for 2 weeks that they are going to be replacing the countertops.

“They’ll be there this week for sure” …they said last week.

And my anxious ass has been sitting around, waiting for the knock at the door.

It finally came this morning.

A nice gentleman from El Salvador removed my countertops and was starting to replace them.

His English isn’t very good, and, despite taking 4 years of Spanish in high school, my Spanish isn’t very good, either.

He asked me about my Spanish after I was moving my electric flosser off the countertops and it went apeshit and started spritzing water on the wall.

I said “Lo Siento,” so he thought maybe I was better at Spanish than I actually am.

We both agreed that we basically suck at each other’s native language, so I got back to work, and so did he.

A couple hours later, he was back to continue the countertop work.

He made a comment about me working from home and asked if I like it (the answer is hell to the fucking yeah because I’m a homebody & introvert).

Then, he whipped out his phone and started using Google Translate to talk to me.

He said that in El Salvador, many people are working from home and that COVID hit his country hard.

Then, he said something like “thank God that people are able to work from home.”

I just kinda smiled and nodded.

And then… things took a turn.

His Google Translate said “Thankfully Jesus died for us and God has blessed us with another day.”

I could have just smiled and nodded again.

Don’t rock the boat.

That’s kinda what I’ve always done; even if I don’t agree with someone, I try to keep the peace and just let them say whatever. Who cares?

But not this time.

What kind of integrity would I have if I don’t push back on god claims in my own home?

So I said “I don’t believe in god.”

I don’t think he gets that kind of response often.

So, we went into a Google Translate discussion for roughly the next half hour.

I was recording and sending voice notes to my girlfriend, and she was getting a kick out of it.

He couldn’t understand how I couldn’t believe in god.

I told him that it’s possible that some kind of creator exists, but I don’t think the god of the Bible is real.

“There have been thousands of gods throughout history,” I said, and he replied with “no, there’s only one god because in the Bible… (yada yada).”

EVERYTHING always came back to the Bible.

“In the beginning, God created everything, and we sinned, but we’re saved by Jesus.”

“But why should I believe that?”

“Because it’s in the bible.”

“But why should I care what the Bible says?”

“Because it’s the word of god.’

Just. So. Tiring.

He wouldn’t even entertain my questions.

“If you were born in India, do you think you’d believe in the same god?”

His answer was, of course, yes.

Not only that, but he disqualified all other gods and beliefs by saying that Indians do not have multiple gods. “There is only one god.”

This guy was very nice, and he apologized for uslurping my time.

BUT.. he didn’t want to have a conversation; he wanted to tell me what I should believe. There’s a huge difference.

He wasn’t listening. He was telling me how I was wrong.

I told him that I was a Christian for many years, but I realized that I have no good reason to believe.

His response? “You were a Christian, so you know you really believe in god.”

As we were ending our conversation, he kept saying things like “You’ll see. God is real.” and other infuriating things.

I responded with “That’s your opinion,” which he wasn’t a huge fan of, but…

TOUGH FUCKING SHIT.

Not everyone believes in your god, man.

But he was a nice enough guy, and most people like him are generally harmless. They just believe what they believe and have no idea how someone could NOT believe it.

He told me “God told me to speak to you.”

Okay, buddy.

If I had to take a wild guess, I’d say that “god” tells him that about every person’s countertops he’s replacing.

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